Assumptions
by GilbertDrone328
Summary: P&P. "When you assume, you make an ass of you and me." Funny how people tend to overlook that rule, especially regarding the relationship of the Bingleys. Once again, better than title and summary. I think.


Author's Note:

As I explained in my other one-shot, Propriety, Or Lack Thereof, it's been over two years since I read the novel, which I didn't particularly enjoy. Then I saw and fell in love with the film and have since also seen the 1996 BBC serial(though, honestly, I preferred the more recent film in most respects).

I don't fake period-speak. I'm using a voice I feel conveys what I want to express. Although this rule may have to change if I attempt a retelling of P&P focusing on Jane. Which leads me to...

I love Jane and Bingley. There's like one incredibly short one-shot that focuses on them. So I give you this, and my other one-shot. Which you should totally read and review...

Summary: "When you assume, you make an ass of you and me." Funny how people tend to overlook that rule, especially regarding the relationship of the Bingleys (and Darcys). If they weren't so nice, they'd probably correct the oh-so-incorrect assumptions of others... Nothing graphic, yo.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.

Jane Bingley could distinctly remember the fury she felt the first time she heard her mother discussing her daughters' marriages with Mrs. Lucas during a visit to Longbourn. Perhaps she would have minded it less if they had not both been so bloody wrong with their ill-formed opinions on the subject.

"It is a lucky thing my Jane is so beautiful," Mrs. Bennet asserted, "otherwise her disposition would most likely make her a lackluster companion. Lizzie, on the other hand... a nightmare of a domestic partner, I am sure, but with her spirit Mr. Darcy must never be... bored, shall we say?"

The two women then laughed rather obnoxiously before turning to the subject of Charlotte and Mr. Collins and the birth of their third child. Jane cringed at the thought of those two even chastely embracing and hurried away from the door of the drawing room to ponder what she had overheard.

Even in the weeks preceding her marriage to Mr. Bingley, Jane was well aware of the gossip surrounding the double-Bennet engagement. Yes, Jane and Bingley were _perfect_ for each other, and Jane would surely look _flawless_ in her gown, and they were such an _impeccable_ match! But, oh! Elizabeth and that Mr. Darcy! He had been so rude and unpleasant, but they were so _passionately_ in love! A dream come true, surely, a man that rich and handsome and apparently secretly charming and a girl so pretty, not to the degree of her sister, of course, but she was so quick and clever, and she and Mr. Darcy would surely have a most _pleasing_ marriage.

A year later, Jane could have laughed aloud at the thought. Bored older ladies adored discussing the sisters' marriages to the wealthy, handsome men, and the conversation had an annoying tendency to turn towards the _passion_ in the two couples. General consensus yielded the opinion that the stormy, stubborn Darcys had to have the greatest romance imaginable, whereas the shy, pleasant Bingleys were nothing exciting in that department, assuming the two could stop blushing enough to get beyond the chastest of kisses.

Jane easily understood how that theory was calculated: she and Charles were exactly the same, lighthearted and kind, whereas the violent opposites in the opinions of the outspoken Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam were sure to give way to passion equally as violent. Jane found the situation frustrating, to know that everyone thought she and her husband simply did not measure up. At first, she had resented the imposition on her marital bliss. Now, she felt the unfairness fully when Elizabeth came to _Jane_, consternation etched into her face. She found her relations with the dark, handsome Mr. Darcy to be entirely lacking.

"It's terrible, Jane, dear," she lamented. "I swear, the man is so obsessed with his honor and mine that he can't possibly bear the thought of actually treating me as his wife. He does not seem to understand that he can actually touch me now that we are married."

Jane merely nodded sympathetically, unsure of how to console her sister, though a slight blush crept across her face when she considered her own interactions with Charles. "Lizzie, I'm sure it'll get better soon. He probably just feels awkward about it all. Remember, he could barely talk to you at first."

Elizabeth had smiled sadly and asked hesitantly, "How long was it before you two became more comfortable with... everything?"

An awkward grin flashed on the older sister's face as she responded, "I'd guess somewhere near the end of the honeymoon. I admit we had those troubles at first; he was afraid of hurting me, especially after the first time, but soon we realized we are adults, we are married and it is perfectly fine-more than fine, actually- to... enjoy each other's company, if you will."

Her sister giggled. "You mean to say, Jane and Charles Bingley, the sweetest, tamest people to ever walk the earth, are secretly consumed with fiery passion behind closed doors?"

The slight blush turned crimson at the teasing summation. "W-well," Jane stammered, "I... I suppose you could say that."

The conversation then turned to Lydia's woes with the philandering Mr. Wickham, and Georgiana Darcy's recent engagement to an old friend of Bingley's, though Jane could tell her best friend and younger sister was slightly bothered by the revelation that she and Darcy were _inadequate, _almost, compared to the happier couple. Truth be told, she had always heard the gossip too, and though she had known everyone was wrong about her marriage, she had assumed her problems extended to Jane and Bingley. Her perplexity continued for the rest of the visit and for the first time she was relieved to retreat from her sister's presence.

Jane clearly recalled her husband's chuckle when she related the story, as Darcy had apparently broken down and offered the same grievances. "No need to worry, love. I set him straight. Even gave him a few helpful hints, so let's hope you and your sister are similar in at least one area," he told her with a grin, as his laughing, blushing bride pulled him in for a kiss.

"You, sir," she smiled into his lips, "are incorrigible."

"Well, you, milady," he replied huskily as he lowered her onto the bed, "are a terrible influence."

A while later, the two lay in a drowsy embrace, Jane lazily tracing patterns on his chest. "Everyone thinks we're the boring ones," she muttered.

He kissed her forehead lightly, then her nose and finally, her lips. "That almost makes it more fun, though, doesn't it? Like we're leading two lives or something. In fact, I almost prefer it this way."

She lifted her head slightly and gave him a pointedly quizzical look. "Why do you say that?"

He whispered into her ear this time, as if afraid of saying what followed. "Frankly, if no one knows about our more _private_ behaviors, I truly feel like I alone have all of you." He kissed her shoulder. "And I rather like that feeling."

Long blond hair flipped off of her face as she suddenly moved on top of him. "That was a brilliant answer, Mr. Bingley."

"I thought so, _Mrs._ Bingley," he responded, lazy grin dissolving as he kissed her neck. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

"Oh, only because my gorgeous husband constantly reminds me. I love him quite a bit, you know."

"Funny you should say that. I hear he finds you rather tolerable as well."

Jane quirked an eyebrow and playfully shoved him away. "In that case, he should probably be warned that I find his favorite driver _rather tolerable. _Quite dashing, actually."

"Oh, but if he hears that he might not let you into his bed anymore. I don't think you could bear such punishment," he shot back, lips now wandering about her navel.

"He knows me too well, then. My only recourse will be to try to seduce him until he allows me entrance again," she smirked back, running fingers through his messy red locks.

"Somehow I think you could succeed with that plan. And apparently I misheard him. He actually does love you, after all."

Jane pulled him back up, lips connecting heatedly. "Wonderful. Now I feel I must reward him for his kindness... any ideas?"

Bingley's eyes met hers, twinkling with mischief. "I'm sure I could think of something."

FIN

I mentioned honeymoons... they originated in early 19th century England, so let's assume they had them at this point.

Please review. I know it wasn't terribly good, but I honestly find it frustrating that the married lives of the two major P&P couples are so lamely stereotyped. I have this whole discourse on why Bingley and Jane are a more interesting couple. Maybe it's just me...

Shameless plug number three for "Propriety, Or Lack Thereof"- my first attempt at P&P work.

Thanks for reading!


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